The BKteN Number 4

Greetings to you all! Hope you're having lovely weeks. It is time for another instalment of my immensely popular web phenomenon known as the BKteN! So, let's get into it!

1. Observe and Report - So, I saw this last night, and it is probably the funniest movie I have seen this year. It is the second film from Jody Hill, director and co-writer of THE FOOT FIST WAY and co-creator of EASTBOUND AND DOWN. Unlike his other work, this movie actually leaves you feeling pretty good about everything as you leave the theater. Whereas the delusions of Danny R. McBride's characters in FOOT FIST and EASTBOUND are because he thinks the world owes him something and he is how shit, in this, Seth Rogen's mall cop just sees himself as having a higher purpose in the world, as a mall cop. It is totally hilarious too. This one is totally worth the 6.50 to 10 dollars you will probably have to pay for a viewing. Hell, I'd even see it again if anyone wants some company at the theater.

2. Guitar Hero II - This is the game that got me into the GUITAR HERO series. The songs are probably some of the best they have ever had, and the learning curve is actually pretty rational, for the most part. There are definitely songs that give me trouble, but it is not like going from giving someone stitches, to preforming brain surgery when you up the difficulty from medium to hard. Some of my favorite tracks include: CARRY ON WAYWARD SON (Kansas), DEAD! (My Chemical Romance), and TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU TONIGHT (Spinal Tap).

3. Mello Yellow Melon - This drink defined my freshman year of high school. Okay, FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING and OCEAN'S 11 defined that year, but this drink was my Constant. It was probably one of the best limited time drinks I have ever had. But they only had it for one year, and then it was gone again. And I will forever have a melon shaped hole in my heard. Thank's alot fuckers. Unless of course, you are planning to release it again, in which case, you are definitely not fuckers.

4. Iron Man - I am talking about the movie, obviously. It started off the summer movie season perfectly last year, causing Robert Downey, Jr. to be bankable. The story was great. The effects were a beautiful mesh of real life and CG, that is hard to differentiate between, and the cast is top notch. In addition to Mr. Downey, Jr. there was Gwynneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard (replaced by Don Cheadle in the sequel), and Jeff Bridges. Yeah. That's right. The Dude definitely made his presence known. If you have not seen this movie, and claim to like movies, you are lying to yourself. Go rent it, or buy it even, and do yourself a favor.

5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Working backwards from most recent show to his first, I have now covered all of the television programs created by Joss Whedon. It is hard to call it my favorite because all of his shows definitely bring something different and exciting to the table, and this one is no exception. It is full of brilliant moments. And I will totally admit to coming to tears multiple times, especially in the 7th season, because I was so excited that I couldn't react any other way. The characters show real growth through the series, and the end is 100% satisfying. Sure it is 7 seasons long, but it is totally worth the ride. Season 1 is sort of rough because it is so low budget, but I found myself genuinely surprised by the first 12 episodes. Season 4 takes a few episodes to find its footing, and is still a little awkward after it finds it. But overall, it is totally worth your time. Plus, seasons 1 through 3 are all on Hulu for free, so why not give it a shot on your spare time. I've already seen the whole series twice, and wouldn't mind another run through if anyone wants company while watching. Watch it. That's an order.

6. Pizza Rolls - This is sort of a place filler, but it is also my favorite snack food. So, I guess it is more like a stomach filler. Sorry, that was tasteless. or overloaded with taste? Yes? No? Anyway, moving on.

7. Alex Maleev - This guy is absolutely one of Marvel's best artists. There is no questioning that. He was a painter before Marvel hired him, and his work in comics should be (and probably is) considered true art. He really knows how to make people look real. Women aren't the typical extreme hourglass shapes like most comic artists render them. Instead they are sexy because they look so real. Also, he is making the switch over to digital production of his art, but the kicker is that it still looks like he is doing it by hand. This guy is a master of his craft. Here's a sample from the upcoming Spider Woman series:
8. Ultimate Spider-Man - Appropriately, I move on to a series written by the man who teams up with Maleev for phenomenal results. They redefined DAREDEVIL with their run. Brian Michael Bendis did this new telling of the wall crawler's life. Marvel created the Ultimate universe for guys like me who came late to the comics game, and had neither the time or money to drop on 50 years of backstory. They took old story lines and reinterpreted them. This series has truly been a joy to read. The only hiccup for me came when they switched artists after over 100 issues drawn by the former. But I finally gave in, and kept going with the series, and I still dig it. This is Bendis at almost the top of his game (with the top being DAREDEVIL).

9. How I Met Your Mother - This is one of those TV series that will alienate its potentially massive audience by the sheer fact that it is a multi-camera sitcom, and people are just too arrogant to get past a format and see the brilliant story telling. The characters are consistently hilarious, and their relationships with one another is what drives the show. It was described in its first season as "A Love Story in Reverse" because we know that it ultimately takes us to when Ted meets the aforementioned mother. I would call this show the FAMILY GUY of sitcoms because of all the cut away scenes and flashbacks. These, however, differ in that they actually pose relevance to the story of the episodes (and series) and are not just massive non sequiters. The show is worth watching solely based on Neil Patrick Harris' explosively funny turn as uber-womanizer Barney Stinson.

10 Coheed & Cambria - I have been listening to alot of them lately. They are absolutely a band that has shown growth from when they started. The best part of their music (other than the music) is that it all tells one epic story about a universe on the brink of war and destruction. And when you know that it is a story, it makes it even sweeter to listen to. For some, Claudio's Geddy-Lee-type voice is too much to handle. But not for this guy. Their music rockes the shit out.


Here endeth the lesson.

The BKteN Number 3

So, I'm still going strong with this. Here's 10 more things that I definitely feel kick ass. Unfortunately KICK ASS by Mark Millar ("fucking Mark Millar") won't be on the list because I haven't read it. But anyway, here's this week's 10:

1. The Goon - This is a series that I picked up last week, and am already hooked. First of all, the creator, Eric Powell, is from Lebanon, TN. So, there is hope that a Tennessee kid like myself can make something awesome in comics and get it recognized, which is great. But the writing is top notch. The guy does all of the writing and art for the book. It is about this mob enforcer called The Goon, who is the face of the Labrazio crime family in his city. And oh yeah, there's also zombies and other types of monsters. The book is hilarious, and the stories vastly entertaining. It is totally worth checking out. I have the first 3 trades of it. Props to TK Vincent for turning me on to this series.

2. Angel - So, I have put a Joss Whedon show down for every week I have done this thing, and this week is no exception. Of course, with my use of ANGEL this week, that can mean only one thing for next week's featured Whedon show. Anyway, this show is about a vampire with a soul that is trying to save the world. His major opposition is a shady law firm called Wolfram & Hart, and they are evil, like all lawyers. Anyway, I just finished this series Monday evening, and I was satisfied. Granted I had seen the last scene of the series before I ever even started watching it, so I knew what was coming and was braced for it. Good stuff.

3. Mario Kart Wii - This game is a blast to play with your friends. Especially when you bring in the rule that you have to drink an entire beer during the course of the race, and can only drink if your car is stopped. We totally played this way this weekend, and it was great fun. I recommend it to all of you. If you are of age. And don't intend to drive for real after. And do not live on campus.

4. X-Force - The current iteration of this X-MEN spin off came about as a result of the MESSIAH COMPLEX story. This version of it is essentially a black ops team, whose first mission was to take the fight to the Purifiers. They are a religious sect (formerly led by Rev. William Stryker) who are trying to eradicate the mutant population on Earth. The stories are brutal, and I've only read the first arc, but the artwork there is crazy intense. Very gory. Very sexy. It is upsetting to know that the artist changes with each arc between the awesome Clayton Crain (who did the first 6 issues) and the overly-hyped, not so great Mike Choi. I have to give TK props for turning me onto this series, as well.

5. Fable - Check it out! Another video game! This is one of my favorites and I am super eager to play the sequel. Your character really changes throughout, both physically, and in the way that RPG characters grow. It's just fun.

6. Pibb Xtra - Formerly known as MR. PIBB, this drink is delicious. I mean, I enjoy DR. PEPPER and all, but sometimes it doesn't take another 4 years of schooling to get the desired effect. The drinks are almost identical, but there is some ineffable quality about PIBB that places it near to my heart. Maybe it's that it isn't sold in TN anymore (except in some drink fountains).

7. "Ten Million Slaves" by Otis Taylor - I heard this song because of the trailer for the eagerly anticipated (for me at least) film PUBLIC ENEMIES, and I had to buy it. It's some solid stuff. It's $.99 on iTunes, so why not buy it?

8. The Prestige - This movie is just incredible, and you are doing yourself a disservice if you have not seen it yet. Directed by Christopher Nolan, and starring Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine, Scarlett Johansson, and David Bowie. If you aren't convinced you should see it by now, then you probably have no soul. Or are an idiot.

9. The Onion News Network - They are the hardest hitting news program out there. They talk about all the important stuff in the world. They were the first to cover whether or not the Beijing Olympics were a trap. They also covered the release of POINT BLANK, a game where you shoot thousands of people in the face at point blank range. Their most important coverage to date, though, has to be about the recall of hollow point bullets that were not hollow points at all, which let to minimal carnage upon kills. Keep up the good work guys!

10. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Don't ask me how, cause I won't tell you. I don't even know how I got to see it, but I did. Oh, wait, this list is supposed to be aobut what's awesome, and not a steaming pile of shit. This movie was a steaming pile of shit. Don't waste your time and money next month. I wanted to like it so bad, but I couldn't. It was worse than GHOST RIDER.

The actual #10. X2: X-Men United - This movie was actually good. I totally enjoyed it. Why the hell couldn't they have done something of the same caliber? Here's the deal: WOLVERINE was so overloaded with characters, that they fucked up their own continuity within the series. X2, on the other hand, was enjoyable, though drags at the end, I'll admit. They gave balance and focus to the characters that needed it, and that's why I liked it.


Here endeth the lesson.

The BKteN Number 2

So, it's that time again. I'm throwing down some knowledge of what you should all be enjoying. Also, there are many more things, that I am just saving for the right time to put on here. So if you wonder why I neglected something you know I love, it will be forthcoming. Just wait.

1. Self - This is a really tight band who live in Brentwood. They aren't technically together and playing shows anymore, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't check out their music. It is some really fun stuff. I just randomly decided to listen to one of their CDs yesterday, and I'm loving it. The 2 that I have are SUBLIMINAL PLASTIC MOTIVES and BREAKFAST WITH GIRLS. Oh yeah, and also, they have an entire album that was recorded using only toys. It's totally hip, and most of your friends haven't heard of them, so you can look like you're ahead of the curve.

2. Messiah CompleX - This was a big crossover with the X-Men that happened a couple of years ago, and I just got around to reading recently. It is some solid stuff, and brought a new incarnation of X-FORCE into the fold. Here's the basic lowdown on the story: A couple years before this happened, Marvel laid a massive shakeup on the X-MEN, and mutants in general in the Marvel Universe in the HOUSE OF M story. Basically it ended with the X gene being removed from 99% of all mutants in the world, making the mutants an endangered species. No mutants have been discovered since then, so the population has dwindled. Now, as MESSIAH COMPLEX is starting, a new mutant was born, which is unusual in and of itself, not to mention that when she was born Cerebro exploded. So, now, many different factions are looking for the baby, which has been taken. It's an awesome story, and has set the stage for some really cool developments into the X-MEN world.

3. Battlestar Galactica - I refer here to the 2004 re-imagining of the classic sci-fi show. The show just ended a few weeks ago, and overall I was satisfied in how they wrapped everything up. It is a really intense and compelling character drama, that happens to be set in space. It has been praised by critics as one of the smartest shows on television. It's premise mirrors the original, in that there is a rag-tag fleet of humans looking for a mythical place called "Earth" after their homeworld was destroyed by the very technology they created. It differs in that everything seems very modern, and the search for Earth is really a macguffin to the more important telling of how the characters deal with these situations.

4. Secret Warriors: Nick Fury: Agent of Nothing - I would have to say, for sake of a comparison that would easily translate to those of you who don't read comics regularly, that Jack Bauer is the more real world version of Nick Fury. Nick Fury is the most purely good secret agent in the Marvel Universe. Anyone who has worked on Fury's side, and has been in his trust knows that Nick Fury is always right, and would do anything to safeguard the world. This comic series follows a new, secret team that Fury has assembled that is made up of adolescent superbeings. It is only 3 issues old, so it is not too late to get into it. The series begins with Fury learning that the agency he has worked for for most of his life (S.H.I.E.L.D.) is actually a branch of HYDRA, a terrorist organization Fury knows to be his enemy. The writing is solid here, and the last panel of the most recent issue is keeping me on the edge of my seat waiting for the next one.

5. Pie in the Sky Pizza - I've eaten here several times lately, and I must say, their pizza is reasonably priced, and they have 2 for ones on draft every day until midnight. Let me repeat that EVERY. DAY. UNTIL. MIDNIGHT. Plus the atmosphere is pretty awesome. You're welcome.

6. Firefly - This is a television show that aired on Fox for less than a season, and got cancelled. It is unfortunate that it was hot down so soon because as the show had its plug pulled, it was really getting into a compelling story. The whole concept brings together s sci-fi story in space with the wild west. It is some interesting stuff, and the characters are just awesome. This was my first exposure to Joss Whedon's work, and I have not looked back since.

7. Lucky Number S7evin - This is a totally bad ass movie. It's about gangsters and mistaken identity and so much more. The cast is: Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, Sir Ben Kingsly, and Morgan Freeman. It is totally legit. It is in my top 5 all-time favorite movies. It is worth the hour and forty minutes it takes to watch.

8. Halo Trilogy - I fucking love these games. And not just for the multiplayer like most people. I really do enjoy the overall story of the campaign mode. Something about it just gets me going. I mean, I can attribute HALO 3 with giving me the inspiration to turn my story into a trilogy, so, yeah. It rocks. Seriously though, I love playing campaign mode with friends, so let's do that sometime.

9. Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! - This show, on Adult Swim, can be taxing, I will full heartedly admit. But irregardless, it is hilarious. The show is equal parts really weird and extremely funny. Some of the stuff they do is just awesome. You should go check it out on www.adultswim.com/video. Just go into comedy and then the title of the show. Make sure to watch Brule's Rules. It's John C. Reilly at his funniest.

10. Cherry Watermelon Coke at Sonic - Sonic has this awesome thing where you can add flavors to your drink, for free. That's right folks, free. And you can add more than one. It is pretty spectacular. And I will say that not everyone is manly enough for the onslaught of flavor inherent in this drink. But I am. And it is delicious.

So, there you are.


Here endeth the lesson.

The BKteN

So, in an effort to keep myself posting consistently, I've decided that I want to do a weekly list of 10 things that are currently rocking my world. This is in an effort to get all you awesome people following me a chance to become just as awesome as I am by following my advice blindly. And so that your following is not blind, I'll be giving a brief reasoning on why it's on the list. The only rule I am giving myself is that I can't have used it in a previous BKteN list. That means the first few weeks will have literally anything I have loved in my life up for use, and as time progresses, the amount of usable material will diminish. You get the idea? Good.

So, blindly follow me into awesomeness...

1. Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog: I'm not going to write much on this here. I did a post back in June about why this kicks ass, and also I am getting it on DVD soon, so a movie night will be coming up in April. and what the hell do you have to lose by watching it? It is seriously only 40 minutes.

2. The Immortal Iron Fist: The Last Iron Fist Story: I just read this yesterday afternoon, and let me just tell you, it was 100% worth the time. Its a 6 issue comic story that started the current Iron Fist series. It has the same writer/artist duo as DAREDEVIL (Ed Brubaker and David Aja) plus Matt Fraction. This is totally a series I want to get caught up on quick. This is not the first story about the character, but it is definitely accessable to just pick up and start. It's some good stuff.

3. Dollhouse: Honestly, you need to do yourself a favor and jump on this right now, so that when everyone is trying to get caught up on this show in like 2 years because they hear such good things about it, you can totally be like, "Shit, DOLLHOUSE? I've been watching that (relatively) since it started." If nothing else, go watch the most recent 2 episodes on hulu. They kick started the overall story in a big way, and you really don't need the previous 5 to get the concept. But thost other 5 are great, in my opinion. Plus it is Joss Whedon, and everyhting he does is gold.

4. Batman: The Dark Knight Returns: This would be the first comic book story I ever read. Well, the first one I read when I decided I wanted to be a fan. I picked this up after BATMAN BEGINS came out and rocked my world. Frank Miller was at the top of his game in this, and the pacing here is some of the best I've seen. It seriously makes me want to start writing a draft of the script to see if I can't get it made because I think I could pull it off. Seriously, it got me started liking comics, so it's sort of like a gateway drug...but to a relatively healthy (though potentially expensive) addiction.

5. Half-Life 2: This is seriously one of my favorite video games ever. I find myself constantly coming back to play it every few months. I love the setting and the art design. It just all kicks ass. Plus, Gordon Freeman is just some scientist, nerd guy who kicks ass and takes names.

6. The AV Club: This is a totally sweet blog that I have Chase Misenheimer to thank for turning me to. It is run by the same guys who do THE ONION, except it isn't for jokes, and it is all about the entertainment industry. Sure I will disagree with their takes on things from time to time, but I am always looking at the TV CLUB blog on there after all my shows end to see what they have to say. Check it out: avclub.com

7. Jim Gaffigan: He is one of my favorite comedians right now. You should check him out. He talks about food alot, and his signature thing is his Hot Pocket routine. If you do look him up, check out his routine about holiday traditions. Pure brilliance.

8. This Onion Article: I was seriously in tears by the end of the first couple sentenences. It is one of the most clever things I have read over there. Be prepared to be in pain from laughter, and having a little free time because of all the laughing.

9. Amp Energy Drink: This stuff is llike writing fuel for me. When I have an afternoon where all I want to do is write, I will turn on some tunes, down an Amp, and go to town. I don't know much about the energy side cause those drinks never really have that effect on me, but they do get me crazy creative.

10. The Dark Knight: I'm gonna go ahead and throw this one into my first list. It is my all time favorite movie right now. I seriously can't find anything about it I don't like. If you want more of my thoughts aobut it, go back to my posts from last June to see more.

So, there you have it. This will hopefully become a regular thing for me, so I can have something to post every week. Hope y'all are having a good time out there. And comment on whether you think my choices are brilliant, or more closely resemble those of a drunken squirrel.


Here endeth the lesson.

10 Most Anticipated Films of 2009

I feel like it is safe for me to do this post now, even though we are almost into the 3rd month of 2009. That's basically because there has been nothing I have eagerly anticipated that has come out so far this year. Also, it is a safe time to do this because the first film on this list is coming out next week. The list is going in order of scheduled release (as of now), as opposed to how much I anticipate them by rank. I don't have the time or patience for that right now. Also, the movie has to have an announced release date to make the list. So, without further ado, here are my Most Anticipated Films of 2009:

1. WATCHMEN (3/6/09)
Directed by Zach Snyder, Starring Malin Ackerman, Billy Cudrup, Matthew Goode, Jackie Earle Haley
First of all, this is one of my favorite books I've ever read. I am rereading it now to get ready for the movie, and I am really picking up on so much more subtext, and just really grasping the world more. I don't know if the movie will be for everyone because the story is so dark, and it is somewhat hard to tell from the previews. It is considerably darker than THE DARK KNIGHT, earning its R rating from what I've heard, but I love the story, and am so pumped to see it on the big screen. Though, after writing that, I feel like I am just shouting the exact same thing everyone else who wants to see this movie is shouting.

2. ADVENTURELAND (3/27/09)
Directed by Greg Mottola, Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, Kristen Stewart
The first comedy I really want to see this year. It's about a kid who has to get a job for the summer, and winds up working at an amusement park. His bosses are Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader. I love Bill Hader and think he is one of the funniest people around, so any movie where he is strongly featured in the previews immediately draws me to it. Kristen Wiig is also hysterical, and I feel like the two of them play off each other magically. Also, Kristen Stewart is quite attractive, so added bonus.

3. STAR TREK (5/8/09)
Directed by J.J. Abrams, Starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, John Cho
Anything J.J. Abrams does is awesome these days, so that is definitely what drew me to this movie. I've never really been a fan of STAR TREK, which is mainly because I have never really committed the time to it. However, everything I have seen and heard about this movie makes me want to see it. I mean, the cast looks phenomenal, and the sci-fi action looks superb, so I am totally going to be there for this.

4. TERMINATOR SALVATION (5/21/09)
Directed by McG, Starring Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Bryce Dallas Howard, Anton Yelchin
I like the first two TERMINATOR movies a lot, and the third one was alright, but this looks like something even better. It really only took Christian Bale's involvement for me to get interested in this, and I know I am not alone there. I don't even care about his recently leaked outburst on set, it just means he was that committed to the movie that he flipped out so much. I also love me some sweet sci-fi action, and this looks like it will definitely deliver.

5. TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (6/24/09)
Directed by Michael Bay, Starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro
I expect nothing of substance in any way here. Like with the first movie, I really am in it to see giant transforming robots blow shit up. And word on the street has it that it will be even more abundant with this movie, so I am ready for some adrenaline charged action. Plus more kick ass robots.

6. PUBLIC ENEMIES (7/1/09)
Directed by Michael Mann, Starring Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Channing Tatum
The only thing I need to know about this (and actually the only thing I do know) is that its a 30s gangster movie directed by Michael Mann and starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale, so it will kick ass.

7. HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE (7/17/09)
Directed by David Yates, Starring Daniel Radcliff, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon
This is my second favorite HARRY POTTER book for starters. I am, however, a bit worried about Michael Gambon's increased presence as Dumbledore because I have not warmed up to his portrayal of the part. He is alright, but I just haven't believed him in the part so far, so we will see. Also I am eager to see all the Voldemort flashbacks, and the horcrux storyline.

8. INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (8/21/09)
Directed by Quentin Tarantino, Starring Brad Pitt, Diane Kruger, B.J. Novack
Quentin Tarantino was my first favorite director, and this movie looks incredible. From what I have heard it will do for World War II movies what PULP FICTION did for crime drama. I don't know a lot, but the trailer looks sweet.

9. FANTASTIC MR. FOX (11/6/09)
Directed by Wes Anderson, Starring (voices of) George Clooney, Cate Blanchette, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzmann
This is the first animated feature done by Wes Anderson, who is one of my favorite directors. I am very interested to see if his very unique visual feel for live action will translate well into animation. The book is by Roald Dahl, who also did CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, so I am very eager to see this. I do wonder if Anderson will include his typical choice in music for this or do a straight score.


10. SHERLOCK HOLMES (12/25/09)
Directed by Guy Ritchie, Starring Robert Downey, Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Strong
Guy Ritchie is doing Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey, Jr. as the title sleuth. I am very interested to see if Ritchie's visual flair in his modern crime movies will translate into this period movie. Also, the cast looks to be pretty amazing, in my opinion. Or at least the 3 I am familiar with excite me. So, we will see how it turns out on Christmas.

So, there you are. Some honorable mentions for me are I LOVE YOU, MAN, the Paul Rudd comedy where he is trying to find a best guy friend to be his best man in the wedding because all of his friends are his wife's lady friends; and AVATAR, the new James Cameron sci-fi epic that will be done in 3D, and is having its details kept very secret. So, we'll see how I feel as these come out through the year, starting next week with WATCHMEN.



Here endeth the lesson.