The BKteN Number 4

Greetings to you all! Hope you're having lovely weeks. It is time for another instalment of my immensely popular web phenomenon known as the BKteN! So, let's get into it!

1. Observe and Report - So, I saw this last night, and it is probably the funniest movie I have seen this year. It is the second film from Jody Hill, director and co-writer of THE FOOT FIST WAY and co-creator of EASTBOUND AND DOWN. Unlike his other work, this movie actually leaves you feeling pretty good about everything as you leave the theater. Whereas the delusions of Danny R. McBride's characters in FOOT FIST and EASTBOUND are because he thinks the world owes him something and he is how shit, in this, Seth Rogen's mall cop just sees himself as having a higher purpose in the world, as a mall cop. It is totally hilarious too. This one is totally worth the 6.50 to 10 dollars you will probably have to pay for a viewing. Hell, I'd even see it again if anyone wants some company at the theater.

2. Guitar Hero II - This is the game that got me into the GUITAR HERO series. The songs are probably some of the best they have ever had, and the learning curve is actually pretty rational, for the most part. There are definitely songs that give me trouble, but it is not like going from giving someone stitches, to preforming brain surgery when you up the difficulty from medium to hard. Some of my favorite tracks include: CARRY ON WAYWARD SON (Kansas), DEAD! (My Chemical Romance), and TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU TONIGHT (Spinal Tap).

3. Mello Yellow Melon - This drink defined my freshman year of high school. Okay, FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING and OCEAN'S 11 defined that year, but this drink was my Constant. It was probably one of the best limited time drinks I have ever had. But they only had it for one year, and then it was gone again. And I will forever have a melon shaped hole in my heard. Thank's alot fuckers. Unless of course, you are planning to release it again, in which case, you are definitely not fuckers.

4. Iron Man - I am talking about the movie, obviously. It started off the summer movie season perfectly last year, causing Robert Downey, Jr. to be bankable. The story was great. The effects were a beautiful mesh of real life and CG, that is hard to differentiate between, and the cast is top notch. In addition to Mr. Downey, Jr. there was Gwynneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard (replaced by Don Cheadle in the sequel), and Jeff Bridges. Yeah. That's right. The Dude definitely made his presence known. If you have not seen this movie, and claim to like movies, you are lying to yourself. Go rent it, or buy it even, and do yourself a favor.

5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Working backwards from most recent show to his first, I have now covered all of the television programs created by Joss Whedon. It is hard to call it my favorite because all of his shows definitely bring something different and exciting to the table, and this one is no exception. It is full of brilliant moments. And I will totally admit to coming to tears multiple times, especially in the 7th season, because I was so excited that I couldn't react any other way. The characters show real growth through the series, and the end is 100% satisfying. Sure it is 7 seasons long, but it is totally worth the ride. Season 1 is sort of rough because it is so low budget, but I found myself genuinely surprised by the first 12 episodes. Season 4 takes a few episodes to find its footing, and is still a little awkward after it finds it. But overall, it is totally worth your time. Plus, seasons 1 through 3 are all on Hulu for free, so why not give it a shot on your spare time. I've already seen the whole series twice, and wouldn't mind another run through if anyone wants company while watching. Watch it. That's an order.

6. Pizza Rolls - This is sort of a place filler, but it is also my favorite snack food. So, I guess it is more like a stomach filler. Sorry, that was tasteless. or overloaded with taste? Yes? No? Anyway, moving on.

7. Alex Maleev - This guy is absolutely one of Marvel's best artists. There is no questioning that. He was a painter before Marvel hired him, and his work in comics should be (and probably is) considered true art. He really knows how to make people look real. Women aren't the typical extreme hourglass shapes like most comic artists render them. Instead they are sexy because they look so real. Also, he is making the switch over to digital production of his art, but the kicker is that it still looks like he is doing it by hand. This guy is a master of his craft. Here's a sample from the upcoming Spider Woman series:
8. Ultimate Spider-Man - Appropriately, I move on to a series written by the man who teams up with Maleev for phenomenal results. They redefined DAREDEVIL with their run. Brian Michael Bendis did this new telling of the wall crawler's life. Marvel created the Ultimate universe for guys like me who came late to the comics game, and had neither the time or money to drop on 50 years of backstory. They took old story lines and reinterpreted them. This series has truly been a joy to read. The only hiccup for me came when they switched artists after over 100 issues drawn by the former. But I finally gave in, and kept going with the series, and I still dig it. This is Bendis at almost the top of his game (with the top being DAREDEVIL).

9. How I Met Your Mother - This is one of those TV series that will alienate its potentially massive audience by the sheer fact that it is a multi-camera sitcom, and people are just too arrogant to get past a format and see the brilliant story telling. The characters are consistently hilarious, and their relationships with one another is what drives the show. It was described in its first season as "A Love Story in Reverse" because we know that it ultimately takes us to when Ted meets the aforementioned mother. I would call this show the FAMILY GUY of sitcoms because of all the cut away scenes and flashbacks. These, however, differ in that they actually pose relevance to the story of the episodes (and series) and are not just massive non sequiters. The show is worth watching solely based on Neil Patrick Harris' explosively funny turn as uber-womanizer Barney Stinson.

10 Coheed & Cambria - I have been listening to alot of them lately. They are absolutely a band that has shown growth from when they started. The best part of their music (other than the music) is that it all tells one epic story about a universe on the brink of war and destruction. And when you know that it is a story, it makes it even sweeter to listen to. For some, Claudio's Geddy-Lee-type voice is too much to handle. But not for this guy. Their music rockes the shit out.


Here endeth the lesson.

The BKteN Number 3

So, I'm still going strong with this. Here's 10 more things that I definitely feel kick ass. Unfortunately KICK ASS by Mark Millar ("fucking Mark Millar") won't be on the list because I haven't read it. But anyway, here's this week's 10:

1. The Goon - This is a series that I picked up last week, and am already hooked. First of all, the creator, Eric Powell, is from Lebanon, TN. So, there is hope that a Tennessee kid like myself can make something awesome in comics and get it recognized, which is great. But the writing is top notch. The guy does all of the writing and art for the book. It is about this mob enforcer called The Goon, who is the face of the Labrazio crime family in his city. And oh yeah, there's also zombies and other types of monsters. The book is hilarious, and the stories vastly entertaining. It is totally worth checking out. I have the first 3 trades of it. Props to TK Vincent for turning me on to this series.

2. Angel - So, I have put a Joss Whedon show down for every week I have done this thing, and this week is no exception. Of course, with my use of ANGEL this week, that can mean only one thing for next week's featured Whedon show. Anyway, this show is about a vampire with a soul that is trying to save the world. His major opposition is a shady law firm called Wolfram & Hart, and they are evil, like all lawyers. Anyway, I just finished this series Monday evening, and I was satisfied. Granted I had seen the last scene of the series before I ever even started watching it, so I knew what was coming and was braced for it. Good stuff.

3. Mario Kart Wii - This game is a blast to play with your friends. Especially when you bring in the rule that you have to drink an entire beer during the course of the race, and can only drink if your car is stopped. We totally played this way this weekend, and it was great fun. I recommend it to all of you. If you are of age. And don't intend to drive for real after. And do not live on campus.

4. X-Force - The current iteration of this X-MEN spin off came about as a result of the MESSIAH COMPLEX story. This version of it is essentially a black ops team, whose first mission was to take the fight to the Purifiers. They are a religious sect (formerly led by Rev. William Stryker) who are trying to eradicate the mutant population on Earth. The stories are brutal, and I've only read the first arc, but the artwork there is crazy intense. Very gory. Very sexy. It is upsetting to know that the artist changes with each arc between the awesome Clayton Crain (who did the first 6 issues) and the overly-hyped, not so great Mike Choi. I have to give TK props for turning me onto this series, as well.

5. Fable - Check it out! Another video game! This is one of my favorites and I am super eager to play the sequel. Your character really changes throughout, both physically, and in the way that RPG characters grow. It's just fun.

6. Pibb Xtra - Formerly known as MR. PIBB, this drink is delicious. I mean, I enjoy DR. PEPPER and all, but sometimes it doesn't take another 4 years of schooling to get the desired effect. The drinks are almost identical, but there is some ineffable quality about PIBB that places it near to my heart. Maybe it's that it isn't sold in TN anymore (except in some drink fountains).

7. "Ten Million Slaves" by Otis Taylor - I heard this song because of the trailer for the eagerly anticipated (for me at least) film PUBLIC ENEMIES, and I had to buy it. It's some solid stuff. It's $.99 on iTunes, so why not buy it?

8. The Prestige - This movie is just incredible, and you are doing yourself a disservice if you have not seen it yet. Directed by Christopher Nolan, and starring Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine, Scarlett Johansson, and David Bowie. If you aren't convinced you should see it by now, then you probably have no soul. Or are an idiot.

9. The Onion News Network - They are the hardest hitting news program out there. They talk about all the important stuff in the world. They were the first to cover whether or not the Beijing Olympics were a trap. They also covered the release of POINT BLANK, a game where you shoot thousands of people in the face at point blank range. Their most important coverage to date, though, has to be about the recall of hollow point bullets that were not hollow points at all, which let to minimal carnage upon kills. Keep up the good work guys!

10. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Don't ask me how, cause I won't tell you. I don't even know how I got to see it, but I did. Oh, wait, this list is supposed to be aobut what's awesome, and not a steaming pile of shit. This movie was a steaming pile of shit. Don't waste your time and money next month. I wanted to like it so bad, but I couldn't. It was worse than GHOST RIDER.

The actual #10. X2: X-Men United - This movie was actually good. I totally enjoyed it. Why the hell couldn't they have done something of the same caliber? Here's the deal: WOLVERINE was so overloaded with characters, that they fucked up their own continuity within the series. X2, on the other hand, was enjoyable, though drags at the end, I'll admit. They gave balance and focus to the characters that needed it, and that's why I liked it.


Here endeth the lesson.

The BKteN Number 2

So, it's that time again. I'm throwing down some knowledge of what you should all be enjoying. Also, there are many more things, that I am just saving for the right time to put on here. So if you wonder why I neglected something you know I love, it will be forthcoming. Just wait.

1. Self - This is a really tight band who live in Brentwood. They aren't technically together and playing shows anymore, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't check out their music. It is some really fun stuff. I just randomly decided to listen to one of their CDs yesterday, and I'm loving it. The 2 that I have are SUBLIMINAL PLASTIC MOTIVES and BREAKFAST WITH GIRLS. Oh yeah, and also, they have an entire album that was recorded using only toys. It's totally hip, and most of your friends haven't heard of them, so you can look like you're ahead of the curve.

2. Messiah CompleX - This was a big crossover with the X-Men that happened a couple of years ago, and I just got around to reading recently. It is some solid stuff, and brought a new incarnation of X-FORCE into the fold. Here's the basic lowdown on the story: A couple years before this happened, Marvel laid a massive shakeup on the X-MEN, and mutants in general in the Marvel Universe in the HOUSE OF M story. Basically it ended with the X gene being removed from 99% of all mutants in the world, making the mutants an endangered species. No mutants have been discovered since then, so the population has dwindled. Now, as MESSIAH COMPLEX is starting, a new mutant was born, which is unusual in and of itself, not to mention that when she was born Cerebro exploded. So, now, many different factions are looking for the baby, which has been taken. It's an awesome story, and has set the stage for some really cool developments into the X-MEN world.

3. Battlestar Galactica - I refer here to the 2004 re-imagining of the classic sci-fi show. The show just ended a few weeks ago, and overall I was satisfied in how they wrapped everything up. It is a really intense and compelling character drama, that happens to be set in space. It has been praised by critics as one of the smartest shows on television. It's premise mirrors the original, in that there is a rag-tag fleet of humans looking for a mythical place called "Earth" after their homeworld was destroyed by the very technology they created. It differs in that everything seems very modern, and the search for Earth is really a macguffin to the more important telling of how the characters deal with these situations.

4. Secret Warriors: Nick Fury: Agent of Nothing - I would have to say, for sake of a comparison that would easily translate to those of you who don't read comics regularly, that Jack Bauer is the more real world version of Nick Fury. Nick Fury is the most purely good secret agent in the Marvel Universe. Anyone who has worked on Fury's side, and has been in his trust knows that Nick Fury is always right, and would do anything to safeguard the world. This comic series follows a new, secret team that Fury has assembled that is made up of adolescent superbeings. It is only 3 issues old, so it is not too late to get into it. The series begins with Fury learning that the agency he has worked for for most of his life (S.H.I.E.L.D.) is actually a branch of HYDRA, a terrorist organization Fury knows to be his enemy. The writing is solid here, and the last panel of the most recent issue is keeping me on the edge of my seat waiting for the next one.

5. Pie in the Sky Pizza - I've eaten here several times lately, and I must say, their pizza is reasonably priced, and they have 2 for ones on draft every day until midnight. Let me repeat that EVERY. DAY. UNTIL. MIDNIGHT. Plus the atmosphere is pretty awesome. You're welcome.

6. Firefly - This is a television show that aired on Fox for less than a season, and got cancelled. It is unfortunate that it was hot down so soon because as the show had its plug pulled, it was really getting into a compelling story. The whole concept brings together s sci-fi story in space with the wild west. It is some interesting stuff, and the characters are just awesome. This was my first exposure to Joss Whedon's work, and I have not looked back since.

7. Lucky Number S7evin - This is a totally bad ass movie. It's about gangsters and mistaken identity and so much more. The cast is: Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, Sir Ben Kingsly, and Morgan Freeman. It is totally legit. It is in my top 5 all-time favorite movies. It is worth the hour and forty minutes it takes to watch.

8. Halo Trilogy - I fucking love these games. And not just for the multiplayer like most people. I really do enjoy the overall story of the campaign mode. Something about it just gets me going. I mean, I can attribute HALO 3 with giving me the inspiration to turn my story into a trilogy, so, yeah. It rocks. Seriously though, I love playing campaign mode with friends, so let's do that sometime.

9. Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! - This show, on Adult Swim, can be taxing, I will full heartedly admit. But irregardless, it is hilarious. The show is equal parts really weird and extremely funny. Some of the stuff they do is just awesome. You should go check it out on www.adultswim.com/video. Just go into comedy and then the title of the show. Make sure to watch Brule's Rules. It's John C. Reilly at his funniest.

10. Cherry Watermelon Coke at Sonic - Sonic has this awesome thing where you can add flavors to your drink, for free. That's right folks, free. And you can add more than one. It is pretty spectacular. And I will say that not everyone is manly enough for the onslaught of flavor inherent in this drink. But I am. And it is delicious.

So, there you are.


Here endeth the lesson.