The elderly are the worst drivers on the road. Teenagers, when they first learn how to drive, can be dangerous, but at least they do not have confidence in their abilities behind the wheel. Old people are more than confident behind the steering wheel, and they suck ass at it. The elderly are not designed for such complex tasks as operating heavy machinery, and last time I checked cars are not light. "Why do you feel the elderly are not designed for operating heavy machinery?" you may ask. Well, my dear friends, let me tell you why.
Firstly, the old people have diminished sensory perception. Their vision is getting worse, they lose their hearing. Now, according to everything I know, it is very important for you to be able to see and hear well when you drive. I mean, when you get your license, they check your vision. If you have poor vision, then you need to wear glasses. I know because I have to. Or contacts work too. Either way, you have corrective lenses of some sort. I have no problem with this. I love my glasses. They are like a part of my face. But old people can be pretty damn stubborn. So much so that they will resist getting such corrective lenses. Also, hearing is important because it is illegal to listen to music through headphones while you drive. I don't do that, I swear. But, if it is illegal for me to drive while listening to music through my headphones, then it sure as hell better be illegal for old people to not wear hearing aides when they drive. It is also important to know that every time you get your license renewed, you do not have to take the vision test again to see if your vision is still safe. This alone would make the streets somewhat safer because it would be illegal for the old people to operate a car without corrective lenses, which I am pretty sure it is anyway, but because they are not tested, we really do not find out about their diminished vision until it is too late.
In addition to their limited sensory perceptional abilities, old people have mental problems that can make driving a car extremely dangerous. The two main afflictions that come to mind are dementia and Alzheimer's. Dementia can be a big problem on the road because if it sets in suddenly, then an old person behind the wheel of a car can suddenly see giant dragons flying around, or mole people rising from the ground and believe they are presenting a credible threat to him or herself and the occupants of the car, and even the car itself, and turn it into a weapon to combat these mythical creatures. Now, I am all for using your imagination, but when it puts me in danger behind the wheel of my car, then I gotta say no. Especially when that use of imagination is unchecked. Alzheimer's can create problems as well because if a sudden rapid onset of the disease occurs, then an old person behind the wheel of a car can forget not only where they may be going, but also how to drive an effing car. Now, I can't accept that there are people driving around on the rod when they don't remember where the hell they are going!
Realstats.com says that 90% of all automobile accidents are the fault of old people, whether directly or indirectly. Don't question it. That site is real. Trust me. I looked it up. On the Internet.
Think about it like this, you would not let your child eat a 50 year old fruit or a 50 year old hamburger. Common sense then tells us that you owuld not let your child into a car with a 50 year old person. If not yourself, then think about the safety of the children when you consider this. The children are our future dammit. I heard that once. In a Presidential address or something. Maybe a literary journal. Definitely not in a song.
Now, though I would prefer to just strip any person over the age of 50 of any and all driving privileges, this is horribly impractical. So, my solution is that once you reach the age of 50, a person should be made to take a driving exam, at least every 5 years to see if they are not operating a car unsafely. I don't think that is too much to ask.
Now, after this rant, you may be asking, "Brandon, why do you hate old people?" I say to that, I have no problem with old people. They give me money. I mean I do have grandparents. Also, I ask, why do old people hate me so much that they just wanna be a bunch of stubborn old bastards and endanger my life every time I get on the road. I know I am not the best driver on the road, but I do know they are the worst. You don't like what I have to say, tough. I said it. Get over it. Argue with me. I'll win. And if not, I'll leave the argument so neither of us can win, and I win by definition because you don't win.
So, there you go. That is the single greatest threat to America, in my opinion. So, hope you made it here. I don't know what I'll post about tomorrow, but it will be something at the least. Have a good night.
You can't stop the signal...
1 comment:
"Would you let your child eat a 50 year old hamburger?"
That is great.
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